help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
