Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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