I'm jealous of your bromance
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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