another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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