i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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