Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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