our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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