he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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