Nicole vs. Life
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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