i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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