I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize