Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They took my balls.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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