so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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