She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's the barista slut.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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