ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
