you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
