thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
