his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize