I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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