I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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