and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
