oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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