I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
