ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
