they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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