just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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