I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
