Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't put those talents on a resume
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
