Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
