Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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