so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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