I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
