dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
