i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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