I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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