I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize