Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
