and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
nutella sex= disaster
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
