he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize