So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
