My nipple is on Facebook.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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