Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
