Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
