My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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