Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
