All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
