oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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