i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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