I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
