i think my mom watched the whole time
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the day after is always just damage control
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
