He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
