I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
