Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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