well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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