I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so let's talk penis.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
