break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I haven't been this sober since birth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
