Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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