5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
