quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
