Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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