I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
